1. Do not pass sweets around. Especially not sweets with wonderful crinkly wrappers that advise the entire audience of the fact that you are unwrapping your sweets! I don’t care whether or not it’s in between items, DON’T DO IT!!!
2. To the grand piano movers: It would be most appreciated if you could refrain from parking the grand piano where it obscures our view of the flautists. Thank you.
3. Please switch your cellphone off. (Or at least onto silent.) So what if it’s clichéd. JUST DO IT! (Nike) For your information: We do not share your taste in music. We do not wish to have the infinitely better music being played on stage at the moment interupted by your tinny cellphone ringtone! We will become violent if your cellphone rings again!
4. When you squeeze past our knees on your way to your seat, do step on as many toes as you possibly can. Don’t mind us. We just loooove having our toes stepped on…
5. If you are the concert master (or even if you aren’t, but especially if you are) DO NOT cough in the cadenza! (Or at any other time during the concert!) Squander a fortune on Strepsils by all means, just don’t cough in the cadenza!